GOOD VIBES ‘MAGIC WAND’

Wanda, wanda, wanda.
I don’t really know what inspired Wanda, besides perhaps my old Twitch description, “Vibing harder than your girlfriends' Hitachi.” I got rid of it because it didn't feel like a good first impression for a “Twitch Partner”; besides, I could never vibe as hard as Wanda.

Wanda is a pretty cool trade-off in my opinion. She was a sudden burst of some specific inspiration that came out of nowhere. I knew I wanted to do something in the rubber hose art style, which I’ve attempted a few times before. But the idea of doing a ’Hitachi’ magic wand specifically just kind of popped into my head. I hadn’t seen a rubberhose style ‘magic wand’ yet, so it had to be done. Wanda needed to be created. You could call her a mascot for a very specific type of good vibes.

It’s neat when creative things flow like this

To complicate things for myself, I decided to make a vertical process video for my Instagram to introduce Wanda. It’s not the best editing job I’ve done. But I did it, I learned a little, and I know I’ll get better. Finding music was the hardest part; I got lost searching through YouTube Studio. I still found some cool songs, but nothing that really matched the vibe I wanted. I honestly got tired and just picked whatever… I hope I redo it later. 

AS ABOVE SO BELOW & WITHIN

Every design, or art piece, I’ve made available for purchase so far has some level of meaning incorporated.  Even the Piss Machine hoodie has meaning, just not in a serious way. The Creative Moon Emblem, my logo, is an eye embraced by a crescent moon, which represents creativity and intuition. I created the Moon Magic Sigil to represent creative and protective energy for whoever adorns it. The One More Round design I created was intended to make a gamer shirt I would want to wear. The two pieces, As Above So Below & Within and Still Not Dead, have deeper and perhaps darker meanings and inspirations behind them than the others.

I did not go into this piece with any intention. What started as a doodle of an eye transformed into something more meaningful, the way a lot of my favourite creations start. I will give some insights into what certain elements mean to me on their own.
DESCRIPTION:
“As Above…”  has an eyeball as the main subject. Eyes representing intuition and the “soul " or whatever consciousness is. The Eyeball has the horns and tail of a devil, which are contrasted by 2 small wings at its side, and 3 halos ascending from its crown. There is a heart above the eyeball-being that is protected by the halos. From within the eye, where the pupil should be, there is a large wet tongue exiting the eye. The pink tongue and light blue saliva are the only colours on the otherwise colourless piece. At the tip of the tongue, there is a small white tab of paper with a protective symbol on it.

The first time I did a psychedelic,
I was 14, and it saved my life.

Trigger warning (SA)

‍ ‍My upbringing was not easy, and I faced a lot of painful experiences essentially alone. Unfortunately, where I grew up, it wasn't uncommon for young girls, like my friends and I, to start experimenting with substances and hanging out with older boys. This eventually led to me being SA by an older boy that I had known for years. The next day, the few people who knew, including him, treated me like shit. I did not understand why. I had known these people for years, and they were acting as if I were invisible. One of them was even angry with me. My “best friend” reacted as if I had told her I lost my shoes again. It was painful and confusing. I didn’t tell anyone else for a long time and internalized the pain. Unfortunately, I also continued hanging out with all of those people… for years.

Trigger warning ends.

I did eventually snap in my own way. My friends and family were oblivious or didn't care. I was in a lot of pain I didn’t know how to manage on my own. This led to me becoming extremely self-destructive. I was still experimenting and hanging out with those “friends. About a year into my self-destructive downward spiral, I was introduced to my first psychedelic experience.

For the first time in my life, I was able to look at myself from an outside perspective. This gave me clarity and allowed me to have compassion for myself. I saw a girl who was in a lot of pain, who did not deserve the things that happened to her. I mark the realization as a defining moment in my life. I believe the psychedelics helped change the trajectory of where my life was going. Psychedelics are not for everyone, but they played a huge role in my being able to navigate and find some meaning in this insane world. Hence, the tab of paper on the tongue. Which will be a recurring theme.

And finally…
The devil and angel's attributes together represent the light and dark parts of us. You can not have the “good” without the “bad”. Life and death. Growth and decay. So on. Every person has both qualities inside them. However you identify with them or don’t, both parts are real. If you choose to ignore one and tend to the other, it will be mirrored in your life in interesting ways.

Our experiences are a reflection of what truth we carry inside of us. The same type of people and experiences repeat until we learn from them. If we learn from them.

Hard Launch?

That's right—Hard launch BAYBEEE.

That last launch wasn't even hard, bro. It was like half chubbed, and it definitely didn't lift.

I initially planned to call my first launch of the website and merchandise a "soft launch" because it was only the beginning of my vision. When finalizing everything, I took a friend's advice and decided to just call it a launch. I tend to make things more complicated than necessary. At the time, this made sense. In the chaos of getting the website and merch live, I lost sight of my vision and forgot to trust myself.

Moon Magic Sigil T-Shirt

The designs and products launched at first were always meant to be foundational. The Moon Magic Sigil and the Always Watching Eye are meaningful to me, and I kept them simple on purpose. The silly items are for laughs, maybe from inside jokes or random ideas, and are probably unoriginal. Like the Piss Machine T-shirt or the Trying My Best T-shirt (for those who know... I know). This launch, alongside this blog, will better represent who I am and what I aim to build and share. This launch feels like a hard launch to me, and I hope it will be clear why!

Over time, who I am and my intentions on this journey will become clearer. This website, my stream, my content, my merch, and most importantly, my art will keep evolving and growing with me. If I start sucking, so will everything else ;) My goal is to keep improving as an artist, a creative, and a human-person-thing.

This blog will share untold parts of my journey, what got me here, and where I am headed. The dream. The adventures... and exploring ideas like: Why am I like this? And what can be done about it? Anything?! I'd like to think so. But we shall see.

This will give a deeper understanding of who I am, the meaning of my art, and my creative urges. A deeper understanding of myself, for myself. To help me process this life while I try to build a better one, and if things go well, inspire others to do the same. If things go even better, cultivate a community of like-minded folks.

Community Hoodie Limited Editio

This website is meaningful to me. This website, and especially this launch, represent a big step toward my future. Toward a future that little me would not have dreamed of creating. This whole process has been difficult and overwhelming, mostly on an emotional level. I have been labelled/diagnosed with CPTSD, PTSD, chronic depression, and an anxiety disorder. It has taken a lot to overcome myself, my bullshit, and my trauma to get to this point (aka Leveling my irl RPG character).

Though I've worked hard to get here, I would not have made it far without the kindness and support of others. Some people who are still in my life, and some who came and went. When I look back at the chance encounters and moments that changed the trajectory of my life, it is hard not to get emotional. I would love to get emotional, but I don't have time right now. Busy Busy ;). But yeah, this might not seem like a big deal to everyone, but the website, this launch, and everything that went into getting to this point means the world to me. As I share my journey and tell my story, it will become clearer why.

So yeah. HARD launch, right? Still, the beginning of the vision, but a significant step that I hope sheds a little light on who I am, my intentions for this website, my art, and my journey.

Thank you for reading <3